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Rise of the Zyrel War
#1
*****NOTE I Don't Have a Computer I broke it so I can only upload so much at a time******


[b]Introduction:[/b]

The year is 2053 on a planet no different from earth, this planet is called Zyrel. The main thing that makes this planet different is that its home to different races then on earth there are many. The main races are Angel, and Vampire. They’re enemies and been having a racial conflict for over one hundred years. The Angel’s where skillful in the magic arts and could do many things with it but the Vampire’s where always skillful is stealth and weapon arts. They have been tied in this war, both stronger then the other at times but why is this so significant you ask? We’ll this is the story of the boy who figured out a way to stop and end this faithful war, and bring peace to Zyrelians.


[b]Chapter I: Awaken[/b]

The sun rose high in the sky, there has been no conflict in Veil since the war started, this was the most peaceful town in all of Zyrel, this was home to the Angel’s beginning ancestors, there was only one thing that made this town stick out more then the others. It held the only Zyrelian that was both Vampire and Angel, his name was Zeke. Zeke was always a young and nice lad but often had sudden bursts of energy and rage that he could eliminate a whole small town of people, he often was worried about living in Veil but it was somewhere where he also felt safe from the war. But this day was different, this is the day where he met a group of people that would change his life, this was the day he left for his journey to finish the Zyrel War.

Zeke stood up out of the chair at the Diner that was just down the street from where he lived. Zeke came here every day but didn’t get the best service that he’d wanted because of his conflicting race. Zeke looked around as he studied the town, he was getting pointed at and stared at oddly, nobody really liked him, nobody really knew him. Zeke stood up as walked into the middle of the street. “What do you all think is so bad about me?! I’m nice and yet you all treat me with zero respect, I don’t understand this at all!” Zeke said as he began to walk away.

Zeke was walking towards the nearby woods when a hand was on his shoulder. He quickly turned around to see a vampire sitting there. “What do you want?” Zeke asked in a more sad tone then anything.

“You the Half Angel Half Vampire everyone is talking about right?” The young vampire asked looking at Zeke in a more odd way. “I’m Lynda, I hail from Toma, I know your beliefs in stopping the war, that’s why I have come to seek you, I have a group of friends who are willing to help, we’ll be like mercenary’s until we get to talk with the gods, but we need your help so you can guide us to collect the mystic stones of Zyrel, can you help us?

“Why are you talking like I’m a god just speak to me as you would to a normal person, I mean all this seeking stuff sounds like you obsessed with me but why would you just come all this way just to tell me about this? I mean I will accompany you but there will be problems, a lot of people are skeptics and want me dead because of my parents, so we may encounter a lot of problems along the way if you are willing to accept then I accept.” I said as I looked over at Lynda. I studied her and in the light from the sun I saw her skin glow, she was beautiful, how can I say no to her? I asked myself.

“I accept now please come with me to Toma I think you can help put the people in place. We need you to help stop this war! Please go to your house and grab everything you need we need to leave now!” Lynda said as she studied me. She sounded so hastened and nervous.

“Why so hasty?” I asked as she looked around and shouted.

“Hurry! They’re here!” Lynda shouted as she pointed at these shadow spirits. “The shadow spirits are here! Run, we need to get out of here before they find us!” She shouted as she ran into the woods with such quick speed.

“What are the shadow spirits…?” Zeke asked as he followed her barely keeping up with Lynda. “Wait are they the ones fore told in the ancient prophecy, that when a hero is sent to finish the battle of all battles that they will rise and try to stop the warrior? But who is the warrior?” I asked Lynda as we slowed down and stopped at a tree that had a tiny opening.

“I’ll tell you when we get inside!” Lynda said as she put her hand against the tree and began to chant. “Cherna Obva No Delintoas!” Lynda shouted as the tree opened up and she walked in “Hurry up!”

“I walked in and the opening behind me closed to a tiny opening, “Where are we?” I asked as I sat down, “But more importantly who is the hero… wait am I the hero…? I paused as I looked around studying the hut.

“Yes you are the hero, and this is my hut, I made an underground passage to Toma, it’ll be a lot faster then crossing the Vampirian border, now lay down, its getting late I will inform you on more later.” Lynda said as she turned off the lantern that lit the whole hut.

“No! I want to know about this shit! This is like kidnap!” Zeke shouted until he heard footsteps outside.

“This is the place!” A voice said outside. Right after that the tree was cut to see the hut underground. “Haha… this was the easiest thing ever!” The man said jumping down. He was a Shadow Spirit.

“What are you going to do with us?” Lynda said as she coward behind Zeke. “Please don’t kill us!”

“I can’t kill you but I am going to take you to Brogtor then our king will decide what to do with you guys! This was the easiest bounty ever, now come with us or I will be subject to kill you!” He said as he walked over to us and breathed a purple fume out of his mouth towards us. The fume was knockout gas. We slowly fell to the ground falling unconscious. The man began to laugh harder as he grabbed us and put us over his shoulder and then he ran a speeds that where by far greater then four vampires could do together.


[b]Chapter II: The Truth[/b]


A day passed before we awoke, we found ourselves in Brogtor, in a tiny square room with a small window so we can just barely see outside. I stood up and looked out the window. All I could see where Shadow Spirits talking with the Lord of the Underworld. I sat there astonished. “I thought he only was a myth and stayed in the Underworld!” I said in my head. “There is no way that this is real, I went way over my head!” I continued until one of the Shadow Spirits walked over to the window and smacked it.

“Why hello sleepy head! Rise and shine its time for you to die!” He said as he laughed and opened the door. He looked over at Lynda who was rubbing her eyes still trying to get fully awake. “What’s the matter? Didn’t get the best sleep you wanted?” He asked as he grabbed Lynda by her arm and threw her out of the tiny room.

“OW!” She shouted as she hit the ground. She quickly got back to her feet and lunged at the Shadow Spirit punching him right in the face. “Why don’t you start to treat women with more respect!” She finished as she began to walk over to me.

“Oh no you don’t!” The Shadow Spirit said as he grabbed her hair and pulled her back. “You bitch! You actually made me bleed so I’m going to give you the best respect!” He said as he tightened his grip and pulled harder. He walked her over to the Lord of The Underworld and then threw her to his feet. “This is the bitch running the whole cult or whatever its called!”

“Well, you’re the one who thinks she is all big and bad because she can run a group of kids who think they can stop the war, well your wrong the only way you can stop the war is if you can kill me and the only way you can do that is if you get the gods power bestowed upon you!” The Lord said as he chuckled a bit. He looked over to see me looking out the window. “Who is your friend over there?” He pointed at me. “Is that the legendary double breed? There are only two of his kind!” He finished.

“He is none of your Business! Now why do you need to make our lives hell so bad, so we think where doing something right! At least we both know that Zeke over there can kill you, your whole army and stop this war!” Lynda said as she spit in the Lords face.

“Hmm.. You might be correct but how do you think you can stop us? You’ll need to visit all shrines then get the power of the gods! Last person who did that died after getting to the first shrine! And yet you and your friends think you can stop us! HA!” He laughed as he began to walk away. “Let them go, drop them off at Toma. I will give them about a year to complete this task before my army rises and destroys everything, I want them to try and stop me and the war!” He continued.. “I know I sound stupid but I want to see if this prophecy is actually true!”

“A…As you wish my lord!” One of the Shadow Spirits said as he breathed the knock out gas on Lynda. Then the whole room was filled up with the purple smoke, but how? I wondered as I looked around to see a vent. I began to walk towards it until I fell to the ground, I was knocked out.

********

A day passed before we have known what happened. We where in Toma sitting in the woods getting eaten by bugs. I stood up as I rubbed my eyes. I looked around and somehow recognized the location. I looked over at Lynda and shook her a couple of times. “Lynda, wake up.” I said shaking her. I shook her harder and harder until finally she slapped my hands.

“Ugh.. I’m awake! Don’t you know us women need our beauty sleep!” She shouted as she sat up and looked around. “Where are we…?” She asked as the only thing she remembers is being in from of the Lord of the Underworld. “This is Toma isn’t it?” She asked as she stood up. “Are you ready to meet the group?” She finished.

“Yes but lets hurry. Its about to rain!” I said as I began to walk towards the not so distant town. Lynda began to follow me then the rain began to set it.

Lynda ran up to me and grabbed my hand. She began to run at much faster pace then I could run. We finally arrived at the small town of Toma. We then began to run towards a small house once we approached Lynda opened the door and we ran in. “Finally we are here!” Lynda said as she looked down. She was still holding my hand. She quickly let go and looked away. “We’ll this is the place the group is probably up stairs waiting for us lets go meet them” Lynda finished.

I slowly began to follow her I noticed she blushed a little bit. “Does she like me?” I said to myself. I finally began to continue up the stairs and then I saw the group of people. People would say they’re an odd bunch but I begged to differ. “Hello guys, I’m Zeke. I guess I’m supposed to guide you guys to victory over this whole affair but I will have to warn you I’m not a hero, I’m just a freak.” I finished as I sat in the nearest open seat.
“Welcome Zeke, I’m Derek.” The Angel in the far right corner said as he waved. He pointed over to his right. “That’s Brittany the Vampire and to her right is Conner the Angel.” Derek said as he stood up. “There is one more that’s out and that’s my mate Natalya the Vampire. Please make yourself at home we’ll be leaving for our journey in two days.”

I looked around at all the beds and then I saw a separate room with only two beds. “Uhh where is my bed?” I asked and then I pointed at the room to my left. “Is that the room with my bed?”

“Yes. That’s also Lynda’s room but she has been saving the spare bed just for you.” Brittany said as she smiled. “Lynda do you mine if I show him the room?” She asked.

“I don’t mine but I swear to god if you make him go through my stuff I will kill you.” Lynda said as she smiled. She got up and walked away to the kitchen and began to cook food for the group.

“Alright here is your bed and we have to lay down ground rules.” Brittany said as she pointed at my bed then at me. “Lynda likes you its really obvious, if you two end up becoming mate and you hurt her I will kill you!” Brittany said as she walked near the door. “I might look like a nice girl but I will hurt you.” She finished.

Zeke sat there not knowing what to do. “Okay, these people are kind of creepy but they’re my family now.” Zeke said to himself as he laid down on the bed. “Well they’re the only thing I have been able to call family for a long time.” Zeke began to frown. “But if we can stop this war maybe I’ll be able to see my parents again!” Zeke finished as he jumped out of his bed. “I just hope I don’t get attached to this family to much.” He smiled as he watch everyone jumping around and joking with each other. “Its good to have a family again."
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#2
Its very creative and I like it a lot. Its well written but I think you over use the comma a bit..

But put up more!
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#3
All right, Thankyou by the way.
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#4
Finally read it. Really good, somtimes your repeat words or phrases to often, but that's being nitpicky.
Have to rate it 4.5/5 stars, because nothing is perfect, but this is close to it.
canyoumakeacharacterofmineinthere
*cough* What?
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#5
Jeroukoo, I can. Pm me the app and I have to redo this because my flash drive broke so yeah... Sad
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